How Life’s Surprises Lead to Hidden Growth: Unlocking the Story of Genesis 38
You finally gave up and moved on. That's when the opportunity you'd been waiting for showed up. Life has a weird sense of timing.
Genesis 38 is a story like that. On the outside, it can seem confusing—even a little bit messy. But it shows what happens inside you when life doesn’t go as planned, and how every surprise or setback is really you expanding your own awareness about what you actually need and want out of life.
What Happens in Genesis 38?
Let’s walk through the story part-by-part, both literally and as a look inside your own mind and choices.
Judah Leaves His Family Behind
“In that time, Judah went down from his brothers, and visited a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah.” (Genesis 38:1 WEB)
Judah, one of Joseph’s brothers, steps away from his family. He goes off to find his own way. If you’ve ever moved out on your own, started a new business, or taken a new path because you needed to, you know how this feels.
- Judah represents your decision-making self—the part that takes action and sometimes feels lonely or lost when trying something new.
- Leaving the family is about stepping out of old patterns, even if it’s uncomfortable.
It starts subtly— made a big choice, not sure if it was right, but just knew you had to try something for yourself?
Judah’s Choices: Getting Comfortable, But Losing Direction
“There, Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite man named Shua. He took her, and went in to her. She conceived, and bore a son; and he named him Er...” (Genesis 38:2-3 WEB)
Judah marries a local woman and quickly builds a new life. He has three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah.
- Er, Onan, and Shelah can stand for the ideas and projects you start when you’re trying to establish yourself. Not all beginnings go the way you hope.
If you’ve ever rushed into a partnership, or jumped into a project for comfort or security, only to realize it wasn’t right, you’re not alone.
The story shows: Sometimes, when we leave the familiar, we make quick decisions just to feel settled. But those choices don’t always pay off the way we hoped.
Tamar: The Hidden Desire for Fulfillment
“Judah took a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.” (Genesis 38:6 WEB)
Judah tries to continue his family through his son Er. He brings Tamar in as Er’s wife. In the inner world, Tamar is like the part of you that wants true fulfillment, legacy, or meaning—something lasting, not just comfortable.
- Sometimes, when your outer efforts (like Er) don’t work out, your deeper desire (like Tamar) remains unfulfilled.
When you feel a longing or sense something’s missing, even when life seems fine on the surface, that’s Tamar. You want growth that actually satisfies, not just survival.
Facing Letdowns: When Plans Fail
“Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in Yahweh’s sight. Yahweh killed him.” (Genesis 38:7 WEB)
Er doesn’t make the right choices and is taken out of the story. Onan, the next son, is now expected to step in and help Tamar have a child.
“Onan knew that the offspring wouldn’t be his, so... he destroyed it on the ground, lest he should give offspring to his brother.” (Genesis 38:9 WEB)
- Onan refuses to truly commit. He goes through the motions but withholds what’s needed for real growth.
One day you realize sort-of tried—doing the bare minimum, but not really giving yourself to something because you didn’t see how you would benefit?
Judah’s two sons (Er and Onan) failing Tamar is like the ways you sometimes block your own real fulfillment—by giving in to shortcuts, doubt, or holding yourself back because of fear or resentment.
Waiting, Disappointment, and Delay
“Then Judah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, ‘Remain a widow in your father’s house, until Shelah, my son, is grown up;’ for he said, ‘lest he also die, like his brothers.’” (Genesis 38:11 WEB)
Tamar is told to wait. Judah fears losing his youngest son, so he delays giving her another chance at fulfillment.
- In real life, this is when you put your own desires or dreams on hold out of fear—worried that one more setback is too much. You wait, but nothing changes.
Suddenly it hits you: said to yourself, “It’s not the right time,” and just let your real dreams go unanswered?
Taking Your Fulfillment Into Your Own Hands
“When Tamar saw that Shelah was grown up, and she was not given to him as a wife… she took off her widow’s garments, and covered herself with her veil, and wrapped herself…” (Genesis 38:14 WEB)
When Tamar sees that waiting isn’t bringing her what she wants, she takes bold action. She dresses differently, covers herself, and places herself in Judah’s path, pretending to be someone else.
- Tamar isn’t being sneaky for the sake of it. She becomes resourceful. She realizes her fulfillment won’t come from playing by everyone else’s rules.
This is like a time when you stopped waiting for permission—you sent a cold email, started a new project, or found creative ways to open doors that weren’t opening on their own.
Can you remember a time you took a risk, stepped outside the usual, and went after your desire in an unexpected way?
Judah’s Blind Spot: Seeing But Not Recognizing
“He turned to her by the way, and said, ‘Please come, let me come in to you;’ for he didn’t know that she was his daughter-in-law.” (Genesis 38:16 WEB)
Judah doesn’t recognize Tamar—he doesn’t see what’s right in front of him. He makes a promise to her (offering his signet ring, cord, and staff as a pledge) and is with her. Tamar becomes pregnant with twins.
- This is about missing the deeper meaning or opportunity in your own blind spot. Sometimes, you follow habits or desires without seeing what’s really happening—or what’s at stake.
In the moment, you might make a choice without realizing how important it will turn out to be. Later, those moments of not noticing become the root of unexpected changes.
The Turning Point: Truth Comes Out
“It was told Judah, saying, ‘Tamar… has played the prostitute; moreover, behold, she is with child...’ Judah said, ‘Bring her out, and let her be burned.’” (Genesis 38:24 WEB)
When Tamar’s pregnancy is discovered, Judah reacts with quick judgment. But when Tamar presents the tokens Judah gave her, he realizes the truth:
“Judah acknowledged them, and said, ‘She is more righteous than I, because I didn’t give her to Shelah my son.’” (Genesis 38:26 WEB)
- This moment is when your awareness cracks open—and you realize your own mistakes or lack of follow-through created the result you’re now facing.
It takes courage to admit, “I was wrong,” or “I didn’t do what I promised.” But this is the start of real change and inner growth.
Breakthrough: Unexpected Blessing
“So it was, when she travailed, that one put out a hand; and the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on his hand… as he drew back his hand, his brother came out… and she said, ‘Why have you made a breach for yourself?’ Therefore his name was called Perez…” (Genesis 38:28-29 WEB)
Tamar gives birth to twins, Perez and Zerah. The birth is unusual—the hand comes out first, then draws back. The firstborn is not the one everyone expected.
- The real outcome (Perez) wasn’t Judah’s plan, Tamar’s plan, or anyone’s—but it becomes the true legacy. Perez becomes the ancestor of King David, showing how even the most unexpected, messy process can lead to greatness.
Without warning, had something good happen as a result of a situation that seemed bad, embarrassing, or out of order—like a job you got after another one fell through, or a friend you met by accident?
The Mystical Roadmap: Every Character Inside You
When you see this story as a map of your own growth:
- Judah is the part of you making decisions, sometimes driven by fear or habit, other times by courage and learning.
- Tamar is your essential longing for fulfillment, meaning, and lasting growth—she keeps showing up, even when ignored.
- Er and Onan are strategies or actions you try that don’t work because they’re not fully aligned with your true desire (Tamar).
The story shows: when outer actions fail, you’re forced to see and honor your deeper wants. When you finally face your blind spots, new possibilities (“twins”—unexpected solutions, relationships, or results) come alive.
- Sometimes, your greatest breakthrough—the thing that shapes your story—happens in the messiest, most surprising way.
Bringing it Home: How This Applies to Real Life
Think about a time you thought you failed—maybe you missed out on an opportunity, got let down by someone, lost money, or felt stuck waiting for something that never seemed to come. Maybe you even judged yourself, or someone else, for how things went.
But then, looking back, you realized that the things you learned, the bold step you finally took, or the fresh opportunity you saw as a result was far more valuable than anything you lost.
A pop culture example of this is when Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players ever (who is known for his competitive spirit and hard work and is deeply respected for his perseverance and character), was cut from his high school varsity basketball team. Instead of letting disappointment define him, he trained even harder. That setback forced him to connect with his deeper desire, fueled him differently, and led to a legacy that no one saw coming at the time.
Like the story of Judah and Tamar, your most meaningful success comes after you face, and grow through, the things that don’t go to plan—but only if you keep listening to yourself and take the next right action instead of giving up.
Simple Exercise: When Plans Don’t Work, What’s the Deepest Desire?
Right now, think of an area in your life that feels... stuck, unfair, or delayed. It could be:
- A job or project that isn’t getting results
- A relationship where you feel ignored or let down
- A personal goal where you keep holding back
Take one quiet minute and ask yourself:
- What am I really wanting here—what is my true Tamar?
- Am I waiting for someone else, or am I willing to take a creative step, even if it’s unexpected?
- What can I learn from any setbacks or mistakes so far?
Write down one bold next step you could take right now to honor what you actually want—not what you’ve been told to want, or what feels “safe.” Try it today.
Next Time: Joseph’s Rise and the Power of Awareness in the Dark
In the next chapter, we return to Joseph’s story. He’ll face dark times, but you’ll see how keeping your awareness alive—even when everything looks lost—is the key to turning every situation into a new beginning.
Life’s greatest adventures come where you least expect them. When plans collapse, stay honest about what you want, trust your awareness, and never be afraid to try another door.
